[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ Cryptic Jokes

Why do husbands try to watch cricket matches on TV in pubs, bars and hotels when they can as well watch it in the comfort of their homes?

Just read this and you will truly understand the reason.

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A couple 👫 is watching an IPL 🎾 match on TV 💻 together. After five minutes:

Wife: Is that Bret Lee

Husband: No. He is Chris Gayle. Bret Lee is the bowler.

Wife: Bret Lee is smart. He should be in the movies  like his brother.

Husband:  He does not have an actor brother

Wife: What about Bruce Lee 

Husband: No no, Bret Lee is an Australian 

Wife: OK. Look. Another wicket in just two minutes.

Husband: No. It is called action replay.

Wife: Looks like India is going to win this one.

Husband: It is not India. It is Bangalore vs Kolkatta 

Wife: Why is the umpire calling for a helicopter🚡.

Husband: He is not calling for a helicopter. It's a free hit. 😜

Wife: Did the spectators not pay for the tickets? Why is it a ' free' hit? 

Wife: Now whom is he saying 'HI' to?

Husband: He is signalling a 'Bye'.

Wife: Why is he saying 'Bye'. Is the game over?

Wife: How many runs to win?

Husband: 72 in 36 balls

Wife: Ah. That is easy. Just 2 runs in 1 ball

Husband turns off the TV 

Wife turns it on and watches 'Balika Vadhu'

Husband: Who is this Anandi?

Wife: Tumhari Maa...

How many times have I told you.. Don't disturb me when I'm watching TV..

Husband: 😳 --------I'm off to the _________.

Why Ladies hate Doctors?

Before giving Anesthesia Doctor asked Lady. " Whats Your Age Madam? " 

Lady : 24 years! 

Doctor : Madam are you sure this is correct age? Because the amount of Anesthesia will depend upon your age. 

Lady : 30 years! 

Doctor : Look Madam.. it's upto u. Lesser amount of Anesthesia could wake u up during operation and u could go into comma as well. 

Lady : 38.. 

Doctor : ( Once again..) Look Madam.. if u are not gonna tell me ur real age then wrong amount of Anesthesia will directly affect your livers and they may fail as well. 

Lady : Screamed and said.. 49! That's it, I am not gonna change my age any further even though my dead body comes out of the operation Theater.