Monday 29 February 2016

[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ FW: This Is What Passengers Have Done To Modi’s Mahamana Express In Just 1 Week





 
Our desis are known for intellectuals; well respected all over the world; 
But we need some help with cleanliness......
Need to develop a sense of cleanliness.






Do India deserve modernization?
 
http://www.scoopwhoop.com/Mahanama-Express-Dirty/

Feb 01, 2016 at 10:41
This Is What Passengers Have Done To Modi's Mahamana Express In Just 1 Week
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It was as recent as January 22 when Narendra Modi flagged off the all new Mahamana Express, the superfast train that would ply between Delhi and Varanasi in just 14 hours.
Named after Benaras Hindu University co-founder Pandit Madan Mohan Malaviya - popularly known as Mahamana or a 'great human being' - the Mahamana Express is touted as the first major upgrade in facilities and design of passenger trains in India.


But it seems like the passengers needed just one week to take the train from swanky to stinky. 
These photos from Dainik Bhaskar show the train in an utterly deplorable condition:














The next time we want to blame the authorities about something, let's think of this. What about all the things we do? We as citizens should be ashamed of ourselves if this is how we're going to treat public property. Especially a brand new train that is supposed to herald a new-line of superfast trains.

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[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ I Failed in Food Business and Here are my 5 Recommendations


[This article originally appeared on my blog and then later was carried by Inc42 Magazine here]

I incubated and ran a food tech business (EazyMeals) for about 8 months and reached a volume of 100+ orders a day. I was in talks with a few investors as well to raise the angel round but then took a decision to shut the business down and write off the investment (why we did not pursue investors even after a commitment of $250K from the CTO of a billion dollar ecommerce company is a different story for a different day). But, before I shut down the business, it taught me quite a few interesting lessons about food tech sector.

Here are some key takes:

Getting Volume On Orders Is Easy, Delivering The Same Is Tough

It is very easy to reach a number of 100+ orders a day. You may even reach 200+ in a short span of time but managing the preparation and delivery of these numbers is tough. We started the business in Indirapuram, one of the most densely populated areas in the NCR region. Food was great and prices nominal so getting initial traction was easy. We found out that bringing in new orders is not that tough. You need additional orders- Get on to FoodPanda. You need even more – Get on to Swiggy, Tiny Owl, Zomato etc. You still want more, invest in Google and FB Ads. Start Push notifications from your app or text SMSs. There is a lot you can do to increase orders, the problem comes in managing those orders. Reason being- whether it is 50 orders or 500, they have to be prepared, packed and delivered in a span of two to two-and-a-half hours. Where as a normal ecommerce company has a day or a couple of days to pack and ship a product, the food startups have just 30-40 minutes to arrive at the doorstep of the customer from the time he places an order. Believe me, its not easy. Customers do not care if you are a startup. Their expectations have been set at "30 minutes, else free" level.

Focus More On Food Than Tech

From the time the Food-Tech sector gained investor interest, there is a lot of focus "Tech" part in a food startup. My experience shows the focus should be more on "food" than "tech". You can build a wonderful App or a website. You will have weeks and months to build and then improve it. But you hardly have any control on the quality of food when you are a small startup. The quality and taste is in the hands of the chef and what he does in those 10 minutes that he spends on the order. Those 10 minutes need much more attention than the website or the app. If the food tastes great, the customer does not care even if you do-not have an app or a website. He will come back.

Focus On Retention Than Expansion

Food is a business where one can achieve a very high repeat rate with customers if the quality of food is good, prices are nominal and service is within acceptable limits. The more your retention rate is, he lesser will be spend on marketing. Food is something which the person eats every day. Three times a day. Keeping your existing customers happy helps lowering the customer acquisition costs and in turn managing the unit-economics.

Work On Unit Economics

Achieving unit-economics in food business in India is tricky. Customers want good food at a nominal cost. My venture was into low-cost-daily-meals. The average order value was around Rs100. The food quality was great, the repeat rate was high, we had achieved a volume of about 100 orders a day, but unit economics sank us in. While providing a meal at an average cost of Rs100, the COGS itself came around Rs40, the delivery per order around Rs18, if the order came via any of the food ordering platforms, the commission itself came out to be Rs15-18. We made a margin of around Rs30 per order (on COGS and Delivery) or about Rs1.2 lakh to 1.8 Lakh per month. This was not sufficient to cover for the salaries of one chef, two assistant chefs, a site manager, a cleaner and four delivery boys plus the rent for the kitchen and maintenance of the equipment.

Use FOPs Intelligently To Your Advantage

Food Ordering Platforms are good for increasing the volume of orders. But, use them with caution. We were on four platforms – FoodPanda, TinyOwl, Zomato and Hungry Buddies. These platforms do help you achieve volume of orders, but eat into your margins. On an average the FOPs charge around 16-18% commission and taxes. That's a big chunk of your margin. I would suggest to use them for a period of time to build loyal customer base and then serve those customers from your own website or app. You will at least save INR 16 on every INR 100 that comes in.

Reflecting back, I feel I could have done many things in a much better fashion than I did. But will I go back and start-over again? No. But I thought these points would be of some help who has just started of is planning to venture into food space. These five are not the only points to keep in mind while running a food business, I am sure there are many others. But, they can be used to set some ground to build upon.

[The writer is the Co-Founder & CEO of Feelance Co.]


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[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ Breaking Bad News to Your Boss

Sometimes at work – and actually, more times than you'd ever want – something goes wrong or gets screwed up. A project goes awry; an important client decides to go elsewhere; a new product just doesn't catch fire the way everyone expected. Business is filled with crises and failures, large and small, and when they happen to be yours, despite the natural instinct to keep the problem quiet, you have to tell your boss.

That's never fun, but it's life. And life will go on for you, career-wise, as long as you remember one key thing:  

Never, under any circumstances, dump your "hot mess" in your boss's office, saying, "We have a problem," in a way that implies you're also thinking, "and I sure hope you can clean it up."

No, when you walk into your boss's office with a troubling situation, always walk in with its solution too, or, at a minimum, a route to its solution. And do that sooner rather than later; denial and delay only make matters worse.

The truth is, bosses have to hear bad news. It's their responsibility. It's their job. And they know that. But your star will certainly rise if you embrace that it's your responsibility and job to take the lead in fixing the bad news you've delivered.

This topic is top of mind for us at the moment because one of our students at the Jack Welch Management Institute raised it during a recent video conference, as he was facing something of a "hot mess" situation at his company. His question reminded us that one of us (Jack) actually learned the lesson we're discussing in this column very early in his career when, as a plastics engineer at GE, he blew up a factory in Pittsfield, MA. Very fortunately, no one was injured, but the roof was obliterated and every window on the top floor of the facility was shattered.

Immediately, word came from headquarters: "Come in for a meeting." Or, as the heart-pounding, inner translation understood it to mean: "Come in to get canned."

Instead, something amazing happened. Group Executive Charlie Reed, a brilliant scientist with a professorial bent, had personnel development as his agenda. With gentle determination, he applied the questioning Socratic method to carefully explore all the reasons for the explosion, the ways it might have been prevented, and just as important, what would have to change in the laboratory for such a thing to never happen again. His approach to the disaster in his office – imagine, a blown up factory! – made a lasting and powerful impression.

Look, you cannot be in business and avoid messy or downright unsuccessful situations forever. To paraphrase, "junk" happens. Just remember, when it does, you'll be all the better if you own up to it fast, and come to your boss prepared to stick around for a good, long conversation about the road up, out, and forward.

Jack Welch is Executive Chairman of the Jack Welch Management Institute.


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[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ MENU

The menu at a bhelpuri shop....
📝

1) Rs 10 per bhelpuri
2) Special bhelpuri Rs 12
3) Very Special bhelpuri Rs 15
4) Extra Special bhelpuri Rs 16
5) Double Extra Special bhelpuri Rs.20
6) Sunday Special bhelpuri Rs 25
(Sunday only)

To check each & every Bhelpuri for its different taste, 
I started eating everyday a different one. . . . .

But soon I discovered that each & every one had  
the same taste of Bhelpuri.

Finally one day I asked him the reason for the same taste?
💷 💵 💴

Belwala said: bhelpuri cost. . . . Rs 10

Special bhelpuri means spoons washed ... 🍴

Very Special bhelpuri means spoon and plates both washed ... 🍛🍴


Extra Special bhelpuri means washing hands before putting the  
Bhel in washed plates & served with washed spoons... 👏

Double Extra Special bhelpuri means clean drinking water 
is provided separately ... 💧

Saying this he fell silent.

Then I asked What is Sunday Special?

Belwala said : Sunday ... 
That's the day I take bath.....
😝

WISHING YOU ALL A VERY SPECIAL SUNDAY

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[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ ONE SMART DOCTOR

ONE SMART DOCTOR!!!   
This just may be the best pro-life message yet.        
 
 
 A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said:  
'Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately
 need your help! 
My baby is not even 1 year old and I'm pregnant again.
 I don't want kids so close together.'    

So the doctor said: 
'Ok and what do you want me to do?'  

She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and
 I'm counting on your help with this.'  

The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence
 he said to the lady: 
'I think I have a better solution for your problem. 
It's less dangerous for you too.'  

She smiled, thinking that the doctor was
 going to accept her request.   

Then he continued: 
'You see, in order for you having not to take care
 of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill your 
present one-year-old. This way, you could 
rest a little before the other one is born. 

If we're going to kill one of them, 
it doesn't matter which one it is. 
There would be no risk for your body if you 
chose to kill the one in your arms.' 

The lady was horrified and said: 
'No doctor! How terrible!  It's a crime to kill a child! 

'I agree', the doctor replied.  
'But you seemed to be OK on killing your 
unborn child, so I thought maybe that you'd
 agree to kill the other one.  I believe that what
 I propose, given your situation, is the best solution.' 

The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point.
 He convinced the mom that there is no difference in 
killing a child that's already been born and 
one that's still in the womb. 

The crime is the same! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

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[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ SOMETHING EXTRA IS GOING IN INDIA

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Re: [ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ Excel: ​Are you an analyst? Use these 25 shortcuts & tricks to boost your productivity

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2016-02-29 20:07 GMT+08:00 Junaid Tahir <mjunaidtahir@gmail.com>:


Analyst's life is busy. We have to gather data, clean it up, analyze it, dig the stories buried in it, present them, convince our bosses about the truth, gather more evidence, run tests, simulations or scenarios, share more insights, grab a cup of coffee and start all over again with a different problem.

So today let me share with you 25 shortcuts, productivity hacks and tricks to help you be even more awesome.

Write faster formulas

Writing formulas is a big part of analyst life. Use below tricks to reduce the time you spend writing Excel formulas.

  1. Auto fill a series of Excel formulas with corner click - demoUse F2 key to edit any cell with formulas. This will put the cursor right the end of the formula.
  2. Exploit intellisense:  Whenever you are typing a formula, Excel shows a list of possible functions / names that start with the same few letters you have already typed. Once the list is small enough, you can use arrow keys (up / down) to pick the function or name you want and press TAB to let Excel type the thing for you. This will dramatically speed up your formula writing process.
  3. Corner click to auto-fill: Once you have a formula, chances are you want to fill down that formula for rest of the table / range. To do this, just select the formula cell, double-click at bottom-right corner of selection. Bingo, Excel will auto-fill the formula all the way down (as long as there are values in adjacent columns).
  4. CTRL+Enter to type same formula in a bunch of cells: If you want to have same formula applied to a bunch of different cells, just select them all and type the formula. This will place the formula in top-left cell of the selection. Now, instead of pressing enter, press Ctrl+Enter. Excel will place the formula (and adjust any relative references) in all the cells.
  5. Debug portions of the formula with F9 key: When working with long formulas, often we come across situations when the result doesn't make any sense. You can debug portions of such long formulas using F9 key. Just select the formula portion and press F9 to see the corresponding result.

Related: More formula shortcuts

Pivot table productivity tricks

Pivot tables are a big part of analyst's life. Use below tricks to work faster with Pivot tables.

  1. Use ALT+N V to insert a pivot table quickly. Or you can use the old school shortcut (from Excel 2003 days) – ALT + D P
  2. Double click any value to drill down: When looking at pivot tables, if you want to know which records correspond to a particular total, just double click on the number. This will show a new sheet with only data for that number.
  3. Rearrange your pivot table items by drag & drop: Want to see a particular product name on top? Want to see the department list in a certain order? No problem. Simple select the items and drag and drop them in any order you want. This will re-arrange the pivot report the way you want.
  4. Sort quickly with right click: Sort your pivot reports by simply right clicking on the value field and choosing sort option.
    sort-pivot-tables-quickly

Related: Pivot table tricks to make you a star at work

User interaction hacks

A good analyst must create user friendly workbooks because a great deal of the job involves communicating with users. This is where ideas like data validation, form controls & slicers come handy. Here are few hacks to deal with such things faster.

  1. Multi-select slicer items by dragging: To select multiple items on a slicer, simply drag from first item to last. If the items you want to select are not together, hold down CTRL key and click on one slicer button at a time.
    Drag to multi-select slicer items - Excel tip - demo

  2. Set up form control linked cells faster: To set up the linked cell for a form control, simply select the control, click on formula bar, press = and click on the cell you want to link. Done!
  3. Cut and paste: When setting up a complex workbook model, usually all the calculations are done in a separate worksheet tab. To speed up the process of setting up user interaction elements (such as slicers or form controls), first set them up in the calculation sheet. Once everything is working as per plan, just cut and paste them to the output sheet.
  4. Alt + Down arrow to pick items from a validation / filter list: Use ALT + down arrow key to pick items from a data validation drop down or filter cells.
  5. Quickly clear filters with these shortcuts: On a table or list, use CTRL + Shift + L to clear the filters or toggle them. On a slicer use ALT + C to clear the filter (ie select all).

Charting done efficiently

A good chart may get you that hike. So it's no wonder we, analysts spend a lot of time working on charts.

Here are few tricks to work with charts efficiently.

  1. Use arrow keys to select individual chart elements: When working with charts, we have to select a chart element (bars, columns, titles, axes, legend etc.) before doing anything to it. To quickly select a chart element, simply activate the chart and use arrow keys.
    Use arrow keys to select chart elements - Excel tip
  2. Adjust chart's source data with drag and drop: If you want to change a chart's source data, simply use drag and drop. Select the chart series (for ex: in a line chart, select the line you want to change). This will highlight the source data range. Now using mouse pointer simply drag and drop the highlighted box to wherever you want. Done!
  3. Use the select objects tool: When working with multiple charts, often you may want to adjust settings for all in one go. Wouldn't it be great if you can draw a box containing all charts and everything gets selected, a la Power Point (or image editing software)? Well, you can do that in Excel too. Simply activate select objects tool from Home > Find & Select > Select Objects.
    In fact, I suggest adding this tool to quick access toolbar (right click on the select objects tool and choose Add to quick access toolbar) so that you can fire it up whenever you want.select-objects-tool
  4. Link chart title etc. to cell value: Default chart titles can be lame and boring. Create awesome titles (subtitles, captions etc. too) by using formulas. Then link them to chart title by using this simple trick. Select the title (or any other element), click on formula bar, press = and click on the cell containing your new title. Bingo, your chart now sports a context-sensitive, smart title. (Related: smart chart titles – how to?)
  5. Add data to charts with copy paste: Got a chart with sales trend for 3 products and want to add product 4 to it? Simple. Copy the data, select the chart, press CTRL+V. Tell Excel how you want this new data to be pasted and your chart is updated instantly.

Formatting / Presentation tricks

It's no good if you are productive. Your presentation skills are equally (if not more) important.

Let's see some powerful formatting / presentation tricks.

  1. Format anything with CTRL + 1: Simple, select the cell / chart / image / drawing shape you want to format. Press Ctrl 1. Format as you want.
  2. Use alignment tools, you must. Hmmm:
    If your report has multiple charts (or shapes), then align them all, you must. Having perfect alignment doesn't mean you waste several minutes nudging each chart in to right position. Simple select them all (using the select objects tool, of course) and fire up alignment tools from either Page Layout or Format ribbon. Align and space objects in a consistent way.
  3. Repeat last actions with F4 key: Let's say you are changing font color for various chart elements. You can do this step once on something like vertical axis, then select other items and simply press F4. This will repeat your last action (ie font change) on the new selection.
  4. Format once, paint many times: Use format painter tool from Home ribbon to quickly apply format settings (including conditional formats) from one range to many. Works awesomely and saves you several precious minutes of formatting time.
  5. Add frequently used items to quick access toolbar: Formatting tends to be a time consuming activity. To reduce the amount of clicks, mouse travel & un-necessary ribbon navigation, simply add all the frequently used formatting options to quick access toolbar.
  6. Turn-off grid lines: Get rid of them grid lines to instantly give your workbooks a professional & clean look. You can do this by going to View ribbon. While at it, consider turning-off formula bar & headings too if you find them intrusive

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[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ Excel: ​Are you an analyst? Use these 25 shortcuts & tricks to boost your productivity


Analyst's life is busy. We have to gather data, clean it up, analyze it, dig the stories buried in it, present them, convince our bosses about the truth, gather more evidence, run tests, simulations or scenarios, share more insights, grab a cup of coffee and start all over again with a different problem.

So today let me share with you 25 shortcuts, productivity hacks and tricks to help you be even more awesome.

Write faster formulas

Writing formulas is a big part of analyst life. Use below tricks to reduce the time you spend writing Excel formulas.

  1. Auto fill a series of Excel formulas with corner click - demoUse F2 key to edit any cell with formulas. This will put the cursor right the end of the formula.
  2. Exploit intellisense:  Whenever you are typing a formula, Excel shows a list of possible functions / names that start with the same few letters you have already typed. Once the list is small enough, you can use arrow keys (up / down) to pick the function or name you want and press TAB to let Excel type the thing for you. This will dramatically speed up your formula writing process.
  3. Corner click to auto-fill: Once you have a formula, chances are you want to fill down that formula for rest of the table / range. To do this, just select the formula cell, double-click at bottom-right corner of selection. Bingo, Excel will auto-fill the formula all the way down (as long as there are values in adjacent columns).
  4. CTRL+Enter to type same formula in a bunch of cells: If you want to have same formula applied to a bunch of different cells, just select them all and type the formula. This will place the formula in top-left cell of the selection. Now, instead of pressing enter, press Ctrl+Enter. Excel will place the formula (and adjust any relative references) in all the cells.
  5. Debug portions of the formula with F9 key: When working with long formulas, often we come across situations when the result doesn't make any sense. You can debug portions of such long formulas using F9 key. Just select the formula portion and press F9 to see the corresponding result.

Related: More formula shortcuts

Pivot table productivity tricks

Pivot tables are a big part of analyst's life. Use below tricks to work faster with Pivot tables.

  1. Use ALT+N V to insert a pivot table quickly. Or you can use the old school shortcut (from Excel 2003 days) – ALT + D P
  2. Double click any value to drill down: When looking at pivot tables, if you want to know which records correspond to a particular total, just double click on the number. This will show a new sheet with only data for that number.
  3. Rearrange your pivot table items by drag & drop: Want to see a particular product name on top? Want to see the department list in a certain order? No problem. Simple select the items and drag and drop them in any order you want. This will re-arrange the pivot report the way you want.
  4. Sort quickly with right click: Sort your pivot reports by simply right clicking on the value field and choosing sort option.
    sort-pivot-tables-quickly

Related: Pivot table tricks to make you a star at work

User interaction hacks

A good analyst must create user friendly workbooks because a great deal of the job involves communicating with users. This is where ideas like data validation, form controls & slicers come handy. Here are few hacks to deal with such things faster.

  1. Multi-select slicer items by dragging: To select multiple items on a slicer, simply drag from first item to last. If the items you want to select are not together, hold down CTRL key and click on one slicer button at a time.
    Drag to multi-select slicer items - Excel tip - demo

  2. Set up form control linked cells faster: To set up the linked cell for a form control, simply select the control, click on formula bar, press = and click on the cell you want to link. Done!
  3. Cut and paste: When setting up a complex workbook model, usually all the calculations are done in a separate worksheet tab. To speed up the process of setting up user interaction elements (such as slicers or form controls), first set them up in the calculation sheet. Once everything is working as per plan, just cut and paste them to the output sheet.
  4. Alt + Down arrow to pick items from a validation / filter list: Use ALT + down arrow key to pick items from a data validation drop down or filter cells.
  5. Quickly clear filters with these shortcuts: On a table or list, use CTRL + Shift + L to clear the filters or toggle them. On a slicer use ALT + C to clear the filter (ie select all).

Charting done efficiently

A good chart may get you that hike. So it's no wonder we, analysts spend a lot of time working on charts.

Here are few tricks to work with charts efficiently.

  1. Use arrow keys to select individual chart elements: When working with charts, we have to select a chart element (bars, columns, titles, axes, legend etc.) before doing anything to it. To quickly select a chart element, simply activate the chart and use arrow keys.
    Use arrow keys to select chart elements - Excel tip
  2. Adjust chart's source data with drag and drop: If you want to change a chart's source data, simply use drag and drop. Select the chart series (for ex: in a line chart, select the line you want to change). This will highlight the source data range. Now using mouse pointer simply drag and drop the highlighted box to wherever you want. Done!
  3. Use the select objects tool: When working with multiple charts, often you may want to adjust settings for all in one go. Wouldn't it be great if you can draw a box containing all charts and everything gets selected, a la Power Point (or image editing software)? Well, you can do that in Excel too. Simply activate select objects tool from Home > Find & Select > Select Objects.
    In fact, I suggest adding this tool to quick access toolbar (right click on the select objects tool and choose Add to quick access toolbar) so that you can fire it up whenever you want.select-objects-tool
  4. Link chart title etc. to cell value: Default chart titles can be lame and boring. Create awesome titles (subtitles, captions etc. too) by using formulas. Then link them to chart title by using this simple trick. Select the title (or any other element), click on formula bar, press = and click on the cell containing your new title. Bingo, your chart now sports a context-sensitive, smart title. (Related: smart chart titles – how to?)
  5. Add data to charts with copy paste: Got a chart with sales trend for 3 products and want to add product 4 to it? Simple. Copy the data, select the chart, press CTRL+V. Tell Excel how you want this new data to be pasted and your chart is updated instantly.

Formatting / Presentation tricks

It's no good if you are productive. Your presentation skills are equally (if not more) important.

Let's see some powerful formatting / presentation tricks.

  1. Format anything with CTRL + 1: Simple, select the cell / chart / image / drawing shape you want to format. Press Ctrl 1. Format as you want.
  2. Use alignment tools, you must. Hmmm:
    If your report has multiple charts (or shapes), then align them all, you must. Having perfect alignment doesn't mean you waste several minutes nudging each chart in to right position. Simple select them all (using the select objects tool, of course) and fire up alignment tools from either Page Layout or Format ribbon. Align and space objects in a consistent way.
  3. Repeat last actions with F4 key: Let's say you are changing font color for various chart elements. You can do this step once on something like vertical axis, then select other items and simply press F4. This will repeat your last action (ie font change) on the new selection.
  4. Format once, paint many times: Use format painter tool from Home ribbon to quickly apply format settings (including conditional formats) from one range to many. Works awesomely and saves you several precious minutes of formatting time.
  5. Add frequently used items to quick access toolbar: Formatting tends to be a time consuming activity. To reduce the amount of clicks, mouse travel & un-necessary ribbon navigation, simply add all the frequently used formatting options to quick access toolbar.
  6. Turn-off grid lines: Get rid of them grid lines to instantly give your workbooks a professional & clean look. You can do this by going to View ribbon. While at it, consider turning-off formula bar & headings too if you find them intrusive

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[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ Men will NEVER LEARN

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident.

It's a bad one , caused by the woman's reckless driving.

Both of their cars 
are demolished but amazingly neither of them a re hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says;

"So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman.

Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.

This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied," I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle.

My car is completely damaged, but this bottle of wine didn't break.

Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police to come and collect their evidence."

Adam ate the apple again !

Men will NEVER learn !😂👌👍👏

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[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ Fw: CIVILIAN FEELINGS ON ARMED FORCES








NAMASTE,
At last some one in the civil street took his time and
 effort to pen his feelings about the man in uniform . Read it.


Dear Soldier of the Indian Armed Forces,
While the whole nation today is busy debating the contours of nationalism, 
I'm writing to you – whom I believe to be the best example of someone who 
works unconditionally for the good of the nation. 
I'm writing to say those three magic words they taught us as kids – 
"thank you, 
sorry and 
please
And because I know you prefer straight talking to needless drama, I'll keep it direct.
Indian flag
First and foremost, I'm shouting out a heartfelt "THANK YOU" for 
all you have done and continue to do for me and my countrymen and
 our country. Over the past many years, I have witnessed your unflinching
 resolve to do what is right, your willingness to go the extra mile and your 
constant putting of others before self. I have marveled at your readiness to 
venture into deadly territory because it's the only way to protect this motherland 
and her citizens, despite the fact that many of them stay indifferent to her and to you.

Next, I'm offering an equally deep apology and saying, "SORRY."
I'm sorry for the fact that you and your near and dear ones have
 to undergo such hardships to ensure people like me wake up secure every morning.
I'm sorry that people who know nothing of your tribulations and have 
not experienced even a minute of your life, sit in judgment on your 
eligibility to qualify for a pension that you've earned a thousand times over.
I'm sorry on behalf of all the armchair analysts and media dimwits 
who think they have the aptitude to pronounce your actions inept and
 careless and question if you deserve to be honored when you fall in the line of duty.
I'm sorry that there exist some people who are the anti-thesis of 
what you are and what you stand for – people who advocate 
separatism and shout slogans of chopping our country to pieces and 
say every day in a nation is a plebiscite and yet, 
complain of their freedom of speech being snatched when 
someone so much as counters their insinuations with hard facts.
I'm sorry that one among you has to cry on national television to 
make us common citizens, the beneficiaries of your sacrifices, aware 
of what the National Flag should mean to us. And mixed in with this 
grief is anger at some media persons who ask what the drama is
 all about when they are the ones who don't hesitate to milk 
every distressing incident in the country for their TRPs.
And I'm even sorrier that a few members of my so-called noble profession 
choose to misguide young minds onto paths that advocate an anti-national mindset.
And now, finally, I'll tell you why I decided to write this letter.

When I was young and studying in college, I attended a 
leadership seminar and that was my first brush with the Indian Armed Forces.
 No, the Indian Navy did not host or sponsor the seminar. It did not put up 
a stall to sell the idea of a glorious future which – in every sense – it does provide. 
All It did was send a cadet …a chap still a little green behind the ears, still a 
work-in-progress, to attend that eminently forgettable seminar. There's not much 
I learned about leadership during those two days at the seminar. But a chance 
meeting with that cadet has meant a learning of a lifetime.

I watched the journey he made in the Indian Navy over the last two decades 
in bits and parts from the outside of the arena he chose to inhabit. Perhaps
because my interactions with him were sporadic over the years, I've been able 
to appreciate the spectacular unfolding of an exceptional individual, a maturing
 of the intellect and the heart, under the tutelage of the Indian Navy. And this experience,
 along with all the other things I mentioned at the beginning of the letter, leads
 me to view the armed forces with utmost veneration.

Over the past few months, I have watched a rare cynicism begin to 
tinge the comments of this exemplary soldier towards us civilians. What 
he finds infinitely hurtful is the apathy of the silent, indifferent majority. He tells
 me we are a jingoistic nation, not a patriotic one. And I'm inclined to agree. And
 I'm also afraid that if the scenario today can do this to someone like my friend, 
imagine what it must be like for someone sailing in the middle of the vast open
 sea or patrolling the Siachen glacier or toiling in the
 Thar desert  to guard his country's borders?

But "PLEASE", please do not let these people make you cynical about 
your countrymen. I agree, many of us are slumbering, lost in our own petty 
problems of day to day living, with nary a thought to spare for our country and you,
 her guardians, and for whom, Lance Naik Hanumanthappa is
 nothing more than another statistic.

Some of us are a shade better – we are armchair patriots who put up
 few Facebook posts and send out a few Tweets when we're episodically 
moved by the exploits of our Armed Forces. Standing for the national anthem 
in the comfortable environs of a multiplex or cheering loudly when India 
beats Pakistan in a cricket match is the outer limit of our patriotism.

But dear soldier, let me also tell you that there are some of us who try very 
hard to serve our country in whatever way we know best. We try to stretch 
out of our comfort zone and reach out to the needy in society and try to 
fulfill that need, or empower them to grow out of that need. We work to 
educate our people about the greatness of this nation and what she stands for.

 We want India to forge ahead and take her rightful place in the global order and
 we cherish the vital role your sacrifices play in letting us dream on. We are
 the people who are doers in million small ways, but you won't find our stories
 on any national news channel or in any newspaper. We have not much
 time to spend on self-marketing on social media either – in fact,
 some of us don't even know of its existence. We don't form part of the 
condescending elite who view India indulgently as if she were a unique specimen
 worth chuckling over or ridiculing for her apparent contradictions.

We only know that it is a great fortune to be born in this land that gives us
 such freedom of thought and action. And we know also of the pain that 
comes when someone is indifferent to our cause or sits in biased judgment over us.

We are ever grateful to you and moved and touched by the way you perform 
your duty unflinchingly. If ever you look at happenings in our country and 
wonder what you are struggling for, remember this letter, dear soldier. 
And know that there are others too working for India's good albeit in an 
understated way that can never match your heroism. We too are working 
without any reward or recognition, together with you, but by 
different methods and levels of effort towards the same goal.

Today, every single member of the Indian Armed Forces is prepared to 
give up his life for the nation. The day each and every citizen of this country
 shows this same willingness to sacrifice everything for the 
motherland, that will be the beginning of her glorious future.
I thank you for reading this through to the end, dear soldier. 

God bless and VAND-E-MATARAM


—A patriotic Indian