STUPID questions people usually ask in obvious situations. 
1. At movies:
"Hey ! What are you doing here ?"
Me: "I am here to apply for the popcorn seller post?" 
2. In bus: An uncle steps on my feet:
"Sorry did that hurt ?"
Me: "No not at all. I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again ?"
3. When I get woken up at midnight by a
call: "Sorry ! Were u sleeping ?"
Me: "Na ! I was doing research on monkeys in Africa. You thought I was sleeping, u stupid fool ?"
4. When they see me with shorter hair: "Hey ! Have u had a haircut ?"
Me: "Nah ! Its autumn. my hair's shedding !" 
5. When someone calls on land-line n asks: "Where r u ?"
Me: "I'm in market with a telephone around my neck !!"
6. When I m washing my car....
Neighbor: "Hey ! Are u washing ur car ?"
Me: "No, I m just watering it so that it grows into a big bus.. 
Share if U wanna put a smile on someone's face.. 
Too hilarious
Too hilarious 
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