[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ Men Confess: The 10 Lies They Tell Women

No, You Don't Look Fat

The following situation is familiar to most guys in relationships: You and your girlfriend (or wife) are preparing for a night out and, after she gets dressed, she asks, "Do I look fat in this?" The best answer? "No, of course you don't look fat." (That can be followed by "You're beautiful" or other flattering comments.) Other than ignoring her question entirely, this is the only way to come out of the situation unscathed; any other answers could be twisted into something we didn't mean and door slamming will likely ensue. The bottom line for guys is: She feels chunky and our mission is to put her fears to rest.

               

I Don't Enjoy Going to Strip Joints

Strip joints, like pornographic movies, appeal to the most primal sexual instincts, which few men (if any) can ignore. It's simply a shame that our girlfriends and wives can't accept that we like seeing beautiful women dancing naked on stage. Despite this logic, the lie still propagates in relationships because it reassures your woman that there is no one else in the world worth fantasizing about. Still, in reality, it's natural for us to enjoy this genre of entertainment, just as many women watch soap operas for the handsome men and romantic sex scenes (though they may not admit it).

              

We'll Talk About It Later

This little phrase helps most of us end an argument or potential squabble. In most cases, we really don't want to actually "talk about it later." We never want to talk about it. Putting off the possibility of a blow up gives us some time to emphasize the uselessness of arguing over something so minute. Although it's a potent tool in a man's arsenal, we need to make sure not to use it too often, or else the underlying motives will become apparent.

          

You Remind Me of Jennifer Lopez

The ultimate compliment to a woman can also be our biggest lie. Comparing her to an incredibly beautiful movie star may raise her self-confidence, but let's face it: Is she really that hot? Congrats if she is, but most of us cannot claim that big a prize. Our women are beautiful, but stretching the truth may actually do more harm than good in certain cases. It's all about timing, and not laying it on to thick.

I Love Your Cooking

Since some women can't make toast without a recipe book, there has to be an "out" for guys who get stuck with the culinary challenged. The best bet is to grin and bear it. Hey, at least she's cooking for us. But if we have to ingest antacids by the truckload, we may start offering to help out with dinner.

I Don't Think of Other Women

Another denial of programmed emotions that men face, this lie is usually called for. We don't want to hurt our girlfriend or wife. So, we have no choice but to deny that no other women (real or imaginary) are ever on our minds. If she believed us when we said, "I've never seen a woman more beautiful than you," this will be a piece of cake. Providing we don't actually think about other women all the time, we should have nothing to worry about. Even a psychiatrist would tell you that fantasizing or drooling over a hot babe in a magazine from time to time is no crime.

You Can Use My Razor to Shave Your Legs

If the thought of our women's legs full of hairy fuzz wasn't unsightly enough, some men have to deal with a recycled razor - that is, one of our own beard-busters. The thing is, confronting her about this may not be worth it, since the argument could really escalate. It's easier to buy her a razor -- and hide our own

I Love Meg Ryan Movies

Some untruths exist simply to help us save our energy and this is certainly one of them. Instead of explaining how unrealistic, silly and boring romantic comedies are, it is better to simply tune out during the movie and reap the benefits of a happy, romantic-minded girlfriend (or wife) afterward. We just get ourselves a big bag of popcorn, candy and a drink, and when we're done, head to the bathroom and talk to all the other guys who've been dragged to the movie.

I Love Spending Time with Your Mom

Sometimes the key to a woman's heart is through her family, even though they may be more obnoxious than the Costanzas from Seinfeld. But it's worth putting up with them if we get the girl, especially if we are really serious about the relationship. A fortunate guy will have the best in-laws ever, but, if history is any indication, the odds of this are quite slim. Therefore, enduring her mother's quirks, comments and behavior just becomes an important part of our repertoire, as does our insistence that family time is fun.

I'm Sorry

Whether it's to escape a sticky situation or nip an argument in the bud, these two little words can come in quite handy. Used sparingly, this device is our greatest route to turning a woman's scowl into a smile, if it's said with conviction. She could be going on about one of our idiosyncrasies or something we've said and all we have to do is stop her, say "I'm sorry," followed by a promise to change, and everything will be all right -- at least for the time being. This phrase should be familiar, as it is the same one used when our mother scolded us as children. As such, this lie has stood the test of time to remain the weapon of choice for many stricken males.