MY MESSAGE FOR THE REAL NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU
Oh yes the year has come to an end at last, and may we usher in 2014 with all bright hopes and staying in touch, and to keep you abreast of happenings around in general.
Well, it would be nice to receive your replies.
Here are the best of thoughts for the New Year.
- Well it's that time of the " New Year — For Me "to give u my #@%&*%4!!! speech.
- Ok everyone enough of your "family" time, come back to the internet. We are your real family.
- Some relationships can survive only online.
- Guys, want to find out all of your flaws in under a minute? Just ask your girlfriend if she's gained weight.
- I'm working on my 2014 New Year's Resolutions List 1. On January 1st, "Express order" workout equipment. 2. January 2nd workout with new equipment 3. January 3rd "Place Ad to sell workout equipment at 1/2 price"
- To all my friends who sent me best wishes for 2013, it was great. For 2014 could you please send money, some booze or petrol vouchers…Cheers! I'll sing Auld Lang Syne for you dear.
- I was visited by three spirits last night, Vodka, Rum And Gin. How about you? . .
- To the person who just mass messaged me that heart felt "Merry Christmas" text, I thought you should know everyone says 'Thanks' Not an extra word....All 115 of them.
- Love means never being able to like another girl's selfie on Instagram ever again.
10. 'twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was screaming… Just cuz I went into the wrong house.
- Some of the best things in life…are mistakes done by each of us. I laugh at them …only later.
- People ask me what my secret is to losing weight and I tell them not having money to be enticed to buy fast-food.
- The Dr. who had examined my wife when she was rushed to the Emergency Room, pulled me aside and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.' I said 'Me neither doc,' ……'But she's a great cook and good with the kids.'
- You know you're getting old when you fall down and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
- Favourite all time cooking shows: 1. Iron Chef 2. Hell's Kitchen 3. Breaking bad
- I'm not flirting. I'm just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
- Care less and you'll stress less.
- Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again.
- The difference between "like" "love" and "in love" is the same as the difference between "for now" "for a while" and "forever"
- I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
- Slipped on black ice today, I thought it was regular ice at first, but when I stood up, my wallet was gone.
- Remember, Christmas isn't about how big your tree is, or what's under it. It's about who's around it.
- Santa's helper takes a picture in the mirror, is that an elfie?
- If you're keeping score in your relationship, I promise you, you're losing. Get rid of it for the New Year.
- If I've offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn't think you could read. If u have associated with me you would have keyed in "delete" the most number of times.
- It would be so much more "festive" if UPS and FEDEX guys dressed as Santa while delivering packages during the holiday season
- I'm not the type of person you should put on speaker phone
- It's the end of the year. No point in trying to become a good person this late in the year.
- Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject
- With my luck, I'll die and get reincarnated as myself.
- I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
- To me being funny is beautiful.
- Some people live life in the fast lane. You're in oncoming traffic.
- My ex posted a pic captioned, "Just me" and I commented, "Yes just you and your 7 personalities, with your pic being changed every 2 months"
- A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
- If I ever win the lottery and someone asks me for money I'm going to give them a dollar and say "Here. Go play the Lottery. That's what I did."
- Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
- I'm that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards, due to my honest sayings.
- I don't get "drunk" during the holidays I get "festive".
- People keep mistaking my "wow"s for compliments.
- Facebook has pretty much made it impossible to ever again say, "I had no idea it was your birthday!"
- My hobbies include working out, staying fit, eating healthy, and lying.
- What is love? Those who play with it call it a game. Those who don't have it call it a dream. And me, I call it you my friends.
- In my will I am leaving everything to the imagination.
- There are two kinds of friends: 1. Friends with benefits 2. Friends with potential.
- Sometimes I just go to work for the free internet.
- Its real cute how pedestrians confuse "right of way" with immortality.
- The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.
- Golden words by a wise man:"If you want to change the world, do it when you are a bachelor. After marriage, you can't even change a TV channel…"
- Pretty soon you'll be able to get married online, instead of saying "I do" you will have to click "I agree to these terms and conditions."
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