[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ CLASSIC JOKES FOR TODAY

DAILY LIFE JOKES

TYPE OF GUESTS

There are two types of guests: the ones, who want to stay longer, and the ones, who want to go home asap.
Strangely enough, these two types are normally found in married couples.

At the shop
- Can I help you?
- No. I just waited in the line for 30 minutes to say Hi.and to know the cost of this item.

100 dollar bill
A: Why are you late?
B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
A: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
B: No, I was standing on it.

Give vs Get
- My father always told that it is better to give than to get.
- Was he a monk?
- No, he's a boxer.

 

Opinion
Question: What would you describe the term "exchange of opinions"?
Answer: That's a situation when you have your opinion and go with it to your boss. Then you return with his opinion.

Heights 

 

1. What is the height of Fashion?

Dhoti with a zip.

 

2. What is the height of Secrecy? 

Offering black visiting cards. 

 

3. What is the height of Active laziness? 

Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk. 

 

4. What is the height of Laziness? 

Adopt a child. 

 

5. What is the height of Craziness? 

Getting a black paper Xeroxed. 

 

6. What is the the height of Forgetfulness? 

Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last. 

 

7. What is the height of Stupidity? 

A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door. 

 

8. What is the height of Honesty? 

A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

 

9. What is the height of Suicide? 

A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road. 

 

10. What is the height of De-hydration? 

A cow giving milk powder .

An Elementary School Teacher had twenty-six students in her class. 

She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverbs and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you.While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

1.	Don't change horses	until they stop running.
2.	Strike while the	bug is close.
3.	It's always darkest before	Daylight Saving Time.
4.	Never underestimate the power of	termites.
5.	You can lead a horse to water but	how?
6.	Don't bite the hand that	looks dirty.
7.	No news is	impossible.
8.	A miss is as good as a	Mr.
9.	You can't teach an old dog new	math.
10.	If you lie down with dogs, you'll	stink in the morning.
11.	Love all, trust	me.
12.	The pen is mightier than the	pigs.
13.	An idle mind is	the best way to relax.
14.	Where there's smoke there's	pollution.
15.	Happy the bride who	gets all the presents.
16.	A penny saved is	not much.
17.	Two's company, three's	the Musketeers.
18.	Don't put off till tomorrow what	you put on to go to bed.
19.	Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and	you have to blow your nose.
20.	There are none so blind as	Stevie Wonder.
21.	Children should be seen and not	spanked or grounded.
22.	If at first you don't succeed	get new batteries.
23.	You get out of something only what you	see in the picture on the box.
24.	When the blind lead the blind	get out of the way.
25.	A bird in the hand	is going to poop on you.
And the WINNER and last one!
26.	Better late than	pregnant.

All the best friends

TONY CHACKO

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