[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ HUMOR!

 

Humor!

1. DIGITAL INDIA
An interviewer asked a drunkard. .. Do you think the mission for Digital India is successful?
Drunkard answered.. The Day I can buy liquor from flipkart and sell the empty bottle through OLX I will consider the mission successful!

2. PRICE
A lady walked into a very upscale jewelry shop. She browses around. spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect. Bending over to get a closer look, she accidentally passes gas (farted)!
Extremely embarrassed, she freezes for a few moments and slowly turned around to see whether anyone has noticed her little accident. Cool as cucumber, a salesman was standing behind her. He greeted her professionally, "Madam, Good Day. How can I help you?"
Hoping against her hope that he may not just have been there at the time of her 'little' accident, she asked "What is the price of this lovely bracelet?"
He answered, "Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you are going to shit when I tell you the Price...!

3. HOW TO TALK
Talk to Mother lovingly,Talk to Father respectfully, Talk to Brothers heartfully,Talk to Sisters affectionately, Talk to Children enthusiastically,Talk to Relatives empathetically, Talk to Friends jovially, Talk to Officials politely, Talk to Vendors strictly, Talk to Customers honestly, Talk to Workers courteously, Talk to Politicians carefully,Talk to GOD silently,Talk to WIFE NO NO not at all just KEEP QUIET LISTEN No other OPTION 

4. WHAT WILL YOU HIT
A lady failed the driving test 4 times. At the fifth attempt, she was determined to pass. But the test had the same question : "You are driving at 120mph. On your right is a wall, on your left is a cliff. On the road, you see a old man and a young man. What will you hit ?". The woman walked up to the examiner and said, "I've answered this question in all four ways, wall, cliff, young man, old man. Yet I failed all the four times. How is this possible? What am I supposed to hit?"

Examiner: "The brakes!"

5. TWO LINE JOKES
1. What do you call a dumb bunny?
A: hare brain!

2. Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?
A: don't look, I'm changing.

3. Doctor to patient: I'll be using an iPhone app to do your surgery from the golf course.

4. Son: Mom, U said that we are created by God and Dad said that we have evolved from monkeys, Which is true?
Mom : I told U about my side of the family and he told about his side of the family.