******** JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH *********
Two boys were walking home from Sunday schoolAfter hearing a strong preaching on the devil.One said to the other, 'What do you think aboutAll this Satan stuff?'The other boy replied, 'Well, you know howSanta Claus turned out.It's probably just your Dad.'
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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girlWhispered to her mother,'Why is the bride dressed in white?''The mother replied, 'Because white is the colorOf happiness,And today is the happiest day of her life.'The child thought about this for a moment then said,'So why is the groom wearing black?'
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A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was runningAs fast as she could,Trying not to be late for Bible class.As she ran she prayed,'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord,Please don't let me be late!'While she was running and praying, she trippedOn a curb and fell,Getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.She got up, brushed herself off, and started runningAgain!As she ran she once again began to pray,'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But pleaseDon't shove me either!'
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Three boys are in the school yard bragging aboutTheir fathers.The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few wordsOn a piece of paper, he calls it a poem,They give him $50.'The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My DadScribbles a few words on piece of paper,He calls it a song, they give him $100.'The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My DadScribbles a few words on a piece of paper,He calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people toCollect all the money!'
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An elderly woman died last month.Having never married, she requested no malePallbearers.In her handwritten instructions for her memorialService, she wrote,'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive,I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'
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A police recruit was asked during the exam,'What would you do if you had to arrest your ownMother?'He answered, 'Call for backup.'
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A Sunday School teacher asked her class whyJoseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem..A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandmentswith her five and six year olds.After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thyFather and thy mother,' she asked,'Is there a commandment that teaches us how toTreat our brothers and sisters?'Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,'Thou shall not kill..'
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At Sunday School they were teaching how GodCreated everything, including human beings.Little Johnny seemed especially intent when theyTold himHow Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.Later in the week his mother noticed him lyingDown as though he were ill,And she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' LittleJohnny responded,'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to haveA wife.'
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You don't stop laughing because you grow old..You grow old because you stop laughing!Take heed and pass these along to people whoNeed a laugh.I thought you would enjoy this....times are toughRight now...for all of us...So we need something to make the day a happyPlace."They" haven't found a way to tax you forLaughing yet.
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