A young Punjabi couple who I hardly knew insisted that I come to their house-warming party. I went suitably armed with compliments for the hostess and her new home. They had obviously spent a lot of money – a long drive-in flanked by royal palms and beds of roses led up to portico. There was apparently even larger spread of lawns and flower beds in the rare of the house. I fired my first compliment at the house.
''What a beautiful frontage you have, Mrs. Kumar!''
''Oh, thank you, thank you,'' she gushed, ''but you have not seen my backside yet. It's much prettier than my front.''
My second compliment, this addressed to the hostess evoked an equally naïve response. She was draped in a gossamer-thin saree through which one could see most of what she had. ''And what a beautiful saree you are wearing!'' I said.
''Oh this is very mamooli; I just wear it for street walking.
****
What did you learn in the school today?'' mother asked her young son.
''I learned how to add,'' replied the child. ''Two plus two the son of bitch is four. Three plus three the son of bitch is six….''
The shocked mother went to school the next day and confronted the teacher who, on hearing the complaint was shocked. So the child was asked to repeat what he had learnt. Hearing him, the teacher burst out laughing and said ''What I actually taught the children was two plus two, the sum of which is four; three plus three, the some of which is six!''
*****
The world's most avid cricket fan, Banta Singh had arrived early at the stadium for the first one day international, only to realize that he had left his ticket at home.
Not wanting to miss any of the matches, he went to the cricket booth and got in a long queue for another seat. After an hour's wait he was just few feet from the booth when a voice called out, ''Hey, Balwinder!' he looked up and out of the queue, and tried to locate the owner of the voice…with no success.
He realized he had lost his place in the queue, and had to go back to the end of the line and wait all over again. After he purchased his ticket, he was thirsty, and went to buy a coke. The line at the counter was also very long. But the since the game hadn't started he decided to wait. Just as he got to the counter, a voice called out, 'Oye, Balwinder!' again Banta got out of the line looking for the owner of the voice. But with no luck.
He was very upset as he got back in line for his coke. Finally he had his coke and took his seat, eager for the game to start. As he waited for the game to start, he heard the voice calling, 'Hey, Balwinder!' once more. Furious, Banta Singh stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs, 'My name is not Balwinder.'
******
Dr. Maheswar
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