[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ Some Jokes-- Enjoy

Wife : Shall I prepare Sambhar or Rasam today . 

Husband : First make it, we will name it later 2

A frustrated husband in front of his laptop:
dear google, please do not behave like my wife...
Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting

A married man's prayer; 
Dear God, u gave me childhood, u took it away. 
U gave me youth, u took it away. 
U gave me a wife.......... Its been years now, 
just reminding u......

 A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in. "My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight ! Why the hell did you bring him home for?"
Husband answers "Because he's thinking of getting married"

Husband: I found Aladdin's lamp today.
Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??
Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that??
Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.

Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home??
Boss: I am a lion at home too, But Goddess Durga sits on the lion there !

A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.
Was the necklace FAKE?
Nooooo! That was the deal :)

 

A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."

Wife: honey.....you say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: that's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook.

Best Slogan on a MAN's T-Shirt :
"Please Do Not Disturb me,
I am Married and already very Disturbed"

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Loyalty test for husbands 

Chanakya writes:

"If you want to be Happy with your husband,
Love him Less Understand more!

If you want to be Happy with your wife,
Love her More never try to Understand !

Loyalty Tests…

 

Test 1:
Wife buys 12 underwears of same colour for hubby..

Hubby- Why same colour sweetheart. people will think I never change my underwear.
Wife- Which people

 

Total silence…

 

 

Test 2:
A couple sees a hot girl..
Wife: So big, aren't they?
Husband: Yes
Wife: Are they artificial?
Husband: I think natural.
Wife: Ear-rings Natural??
.
Total Silence
.
Test 3:
Men will always be Men –
Once a group of men decided to go for Tirth Yatra (Religious Trip). Their guide explained to them that they might see some ladies bathing in open and they should not get distracted at all. When they see anything like that, they should just say HARI OM and move on. Next day they started the yatra  (Journey) and one of the men in the group Just said- "HARI OM" and rest of them said- "KIDHAR HAI, KIDHAR HAI  (Where ........   Where......)

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 After being married for 40+ years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.   

 Now ... I have a $800,000.00 home, a $55,000.00 car, a nice big bed and a large screen 55" TV, but I'm sleeping with a 63-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems