Children, Where Are You?
by Anura Hegoda
by Anura Hegoda
Dear All,
Please take time to read this....
Regards
AjithN
Please take time to read this....
Regards
AjithN
I visited a government hospital in Colombo last week to see a sick relative. The next bed was occupied by a woman about 80 years with a face full of sorrows. My relative said that the old woman who was living in London, had come to Sri Lanka for her granddaughter's wedding and had fallen ill due to wheezing and related symptoms.
As she is also from London and there were no visitors near her bed, I approached her and started talking to her. At the beginning she was reluctant to talk but when I said I also live in London she opened her heart.
Her husband had died 20 years ago when she was living in Sri Lanka with him. At the time their children, three educated sons, were living in the United Kingdom with their spouses. Once the funeral arrangements and related matters were done, the younger son invited the mother to live with him in the United Kingdom.
She was granted permanent stay in the United Kingdom as a surviving parent with no ties in Sri Lanka. The picture given was totally different from what she experienced since her arrival in the UK.
From the beginning, she had to cook for her son and daughter in law who were in full time employment. The daughter in law was pregnant and was getting ready for her confinement in a few months. Apart from cooking, the mother had to machine wash clothes and keep the household clean.
At the time she was of 60 years and suffering from some minor age related illnesses. She said she bore everything in the name of love towards her son.
With the birth of her granddaughter, her life changed totally. Apart from day to day housekeeping matters, she also had to take the night shift of feeding the baby. The baby was bottled fed from the beginning.
She did everything enjoying the grandmother hood which she could not experience with the children of the other sons. She had no time for herself and was even unable to go to the temple once in three months.
Whenever the other sons visited her, she portrayed a different picture not to harm the son she was staying with. Although the daughter in law often gave her a hard time she ignored them being very patient.
Twenty one years passed and the granddaughter found a Sri Lankan boy to get married. They visited Sri Lanka a few days ago for the wedding. She returned to Sri Lanka with them for the first time since her departure 20 years ago. Although she had an on and off wheeze, she had no other major illnesses.
Two days prior to the wedding, her daughter in law decided to take her to hospital and admitted saying she had a severe wheeze and heart related illnesses. Due to an unexplained reason, she was kept in the hospital since then. The wedding was already over. She couldn't see the granddaughter she raised, getting married.
During our half hour conversation she stopped and cried a few times. No relative visited her since she was admitted to hospital. She hoped that one of her sons would visit her soon. I said 'bye' to her with a heart full of pain and eyes full of tears.
Yesterday I had telephone call from my relative in the hospital and couldn't believe my ears. She said the woman's son had come with some people from a Home for the Aged and handed her over to them to be taken there against her will.
It had happened so suddenly that no one realised what was going on until they saw the woman on a wheel chair crying, saying: "Aane maawa madamakata geniyanna epa." (Please don't take me to a home for the aged). My relative said that everybody in the ward started crying.
There might be many reasons for the son's decision. One is the mother is too old and a funeral in London can cost five times than in Colombo. The other is that he had to listen to his wife to keep the troubling mother in law away. The final one could be that they do not need the mother anymore to look after the newly wedded granddaughter.
Visit a hospital ward or a home for the aged during visiting hours to see how many old mothers and fathers keep their unblinking eyes focused on the front door with the hope of seeing their children. The children might be in a country thousands of miles away leading comfortable lives forgetting who brought them up. Instead they may be living just few miles away without a clue what their mother or father is going through.
I remember the days when a relative or a friend was selected to Medical College. We used to say: "At least he will be there to give us medicine on our death bed". Is that person still around ?
As she is also from London and there were no visitors near her bed, I approached her and started talking to her. At the beginning she was reluctant to talk but when I said I also live in London she opened her heart.
Her husband had died 20 years ago when she was living in Sri Lanka with him. At the time their children, three educated sons, were living in the United Kingdom with their spouses. Once the funeral arrangements and related matters were done, the younger son invited the mother to live with him in the United Kingdom.
She was granted permanent stay in the United Kingdom as a surviving parent with no ties in Sri Lanka. The picture given was totally different from what she experienced since her arrival in the UK.
From the beginning, she had to cook for her son and daughter in law who were in full time employment. The daughter in law was pregnant and was getting ready for her confinement in a few months. Apart from cooking, the mother had to machine wash clothes and keep the household clean.
At the time she was of 60 years and suffering from some minor age related illnesses. She said she bore everything in the name of love towards her son.
With the birth of her granddaughter, her life changed totally. Apart from day to day housekeeping matters, she also had to take the night shift of feeding the baby. The baby was bottled fed from the beginning.
She did everything enjoying the grandmother hood which she could not experience with the children of the other sons. She had no time for herself and was even unable to go to the temple once in three months.
Whenever the other sons visited her, she portrayed a different picture not to harm the son she was staying with. Although the daughter in law often gave her a hard time she ignored them being very patient.
Twenty one years passed and the granddaughter found a Sri Lankan boy to get married. They visited Sri Lanka a few days ago for the wedding. She returned to Sri Lanka with them for the first time since her departure 20 years ago. Although she had an on and off wheeze, she had no other major illnesses.
Two days prior to the wedding, her daughter in law decided to take her to hospital and admitted saying she had a severe wheeze and heart related illnesses. Due to an unexplained reason, she was kept in the hospital since then. The wedding was already over. She couldn't see the granddaughter she raised, getting married.
During our half hour conversation she stopped and cried a few times. No relative visited her since she was admitted to hospital. She hoped that one of her sons would visit her soon. I said 'bye' to her with a heart full of pain and eyes full of tears.
Yesterday I had telephone call from my relative in the hospital and couldn't believe my ears. She said the woman's son had come with some people from a Home for the Aged and handed her over to them to be taken there against her will.
It had happened so suddenly that no one realised what was going on until they saw the woman on a wheel chair crying, saying: "Aane maawa madamakata geniyanna epa." (Please don't take me to a home for the aged). My relative said that everybody in the ward started crying.
There might be many reasons for the son's decision. One is the mother is too old and a funeral in London can cost five times than in Colombo. The other is that he had to listen to his wife to keep the troubling mother in law away. The final one could be that they do not need the mother anymore to look after the newly wedded granddaughter.
Visit a hospital ward or a home for the aged during visiting hours to see how many old mothers and fathers keep their unblinking eyes focused on the front door with the hope of seeing their children. The children might be in a country thousands of miles away leading comfortable lives forgetting who brought them up. Instead they may be living just few miles away without a clue what their mother or father is going through.
I remember the days when a relative or a friend was selected to Medical College. We used to say: "At least he will be there to give us medicine on our death bed". Is that person still around ?
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