[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ The Economy of Fun

Good Morning to all friends

Life is Beautiful....Keep Smiling!       J  

Weekend Fun…

                                

The Economy of Fun

• The  US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing,. Its called the stock market -Jay Leno
• Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are ?? Wall Street is now being called Wal Mart Street- Jay Leno
• The difference between a pigeon and a  London investment banker. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.
• What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in   Las Vegas  and an investment banker?  A tie...
• The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left.
• I want to warn people from Nigeria  who might be watching our show, if you get any e-mails from Washington  asking for money, it's a scam. Don't fall for it - Jay Leno
• Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his favourite candy bar - Jay Leno
• The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Obama's copy is even thicker. They had to include pictures.  Jay Leno
• President Obama's response was to support some small business owners in America . The small business owners are General Motors, General Electric and Century 21. - Jay Leno
• What worries me most about the credit crunch, is that if one of my cheques is returned stamped 'insufficient   funds'. I  won't know whether that refers to mine or the bank's.

 

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

§     CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer. 

§     CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer. 

§     BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. 

§     BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry. 

§     VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower. 

§     P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. 

§     BROKER -- What my broker has made me.   

§     STANDARD POOR -- Your life in a nutshell. 

§     STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock. 

§     STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. 

§     FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected. 

§     MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

§     CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.  

§     YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.  

§     WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. 

§     INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

§     PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

 

   With Best Regards,

--
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Keep_Mailing" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to keep_mailing+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com.
To post to this group, send email to keep_mailing@googlegroups.com.
Visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/keep_mailing.
For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/groups/opt_out.