Monday, 30 November 2015

[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ The Right Way to Apologize

By Martha Beck
How to Apologize
Apologizing is rarely comfortable or easy, so if you're going to do it at all, make it count. Aaron Lazare, MD, a psychiatrist and dean of the University of Massachusetts Medical School, has spent years studying acts of contrition in every context, from interpersonal to international. He has found that, to be effective, most apologies need to contain the following elements:

1. Full acknowledgment of the offense. Start by describing exactly what you did wrong, without avoiding the worst truths. Once the facts are out, acknowledge that your behavior violated a moral code. It doesn't matter whether you and the person you've hurt shares the same ethics: If you've broken your own rules, you're in the wrong. Accept responsibility.

2. An explanation. A truthful explanation is your best shot at rebuilding a strong, peaceful relationship. The core-deep explanation for your behavior is your key to changing for the better. Explanations help you and your victim understand why you misbehaved and assure both of you that the offense won't recur. Excuses merely deflect responsibility. Leave them out of your apology.

3. Genuine expression of remorse. Anyone who has been on the receiving end of the comment "I'm sorry you feel that way" knows the difference between sincere regret and an attempt to avoid responsibility for bad behavior. Few things are less likely to evoke forgiveness than apology without remorse.

4. Reparations for damage. An apology includes real repair work: not just saying "I'm sorry." Often there will be nothing tangible to repair; hearts and relationships are broken more often than physical objects. In such cases, your efforts should focus on restoring the other person's dignity. The question "What else do you want me to do?" can start this process. If you ask it sincerely, really listen to the answer and act on the other party's suggestions, you'll be honoring their feelings, perspective and experience. The knowledge that one is heard and valued has incredible healing power; it can mend even seemingly irreparable wounds.

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[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ Fwd: The Kaikeyi Model

 The attached document  is  written by Col RP Chaturvedi , a Retd.  Army Aviator and a Gunner,   who has been active in the IESM ECHS Division : 

Musings 25 Nov - A SENSE OF BETRAYAL

The mindless and confusing events of recent past, particularly the Govt's inept handling of the OROP issue, and the recently submitted Report of the 7 CPC- shockingly and blatantly cruelly unjust to the Fauji community does not auger well for our national security. This trend with scant regard for the consequences, can only be compared to the scheming manipulations of Kaikeyi, Queen of Ayodhya in epic Ramayana, on advise of her maid Manthara.

Does India continue to be cursed by Mantharas amidst us? 
Waiting to catch my flight, I started wondering. My Musings about the consequent sense of betrayal are shared herein.

With Warm Regards, 
​ ​
Col RP Chaturvedi,

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[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ PHILOSOPHICAL THOUGHTS



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[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ THINKING HUMAN


May the Good Lord be with you in all your endeavors.

Your pal




  Are we earning to pay builders and interior designers, caterers and decorators?

  Whom do we want to impress with our highly inflated house properties & fat weddings?

  Do you remember for more than two days what you ate at someone's marriage?

  Why are we working like dogs in our prime years of life?

  How many generations do we want to feed?

  Most of us have two kids. Many have a single kid.

  How much is the "need" and how much do we actually "want"??  Think about it.

  Would our next generation be incapable to earn, that we save so much for them!?!

  Can not we spare one and a half days a week for friends, family and self??

  Do you spend even 5% of your monthly income for your self enjoyment?  Usually...No.

  Why can't we enjoy simultaneously while we earn?

  Spare time to enjoy before you have slipped discs and large prostates.

  We don't own properties, we just have temporary name on documents.

  GOD laughs sarcastically, when someone says,  "I am the owner of this land"!!

  Do not judge a person only by the length of his car.

  Many of our science and maths teachers were great personalities riding on scooters!!

  It is not bad to be rich, but it is very unfair, to be only rich.

  Let's get a LIFE, before life gets us, instead....  
A lovely little girl was holding two apples with both hands.

  Her mum came in and softly asked her little daughter with a smile; my sweetie, 
could you give your mum one of your two apples?

  The girl looked up at her mum for some seconds, then she suddenly took a
 quick bite on one apple, and then quickly on the other.

  The mum felt the smile on her face freeze. 
She tried hard not to reveal her disappointment.

  Then the little girl handed one of her bitten apples to her mum,and said:
 mummy, here you are. This is the sweeter one.

  No matter who you are, how experienced you are, and how
 knowledgeable you think you are, always delay judgement.

  Give others the privilege to explain themselves.

  What you see may not be the reality. Never conclude for others.

  Which is why we should never only focus on the surface and judge 
others without understanding them first.

  Those who like to pay the bill, do so not because they are loaded but because
 they value friendship above money.

  Those who take the initiative at work, do so not because they are stupid but because 
they understand the concept of responsibility.

  Those who apologizes first after a fight, do so not because they are wrong 
but because they value the people around them.

  Those who are willing to help you, do so not because they owe you any thing but because 
they see you as a true friend.

  Those who often text you, do so not because they have nothing better to do but
 because you are in their heart.

  Those who take out time to chat with you, does not mean they are jobless or less busy, 
but they know the importance of keeping in touch.

  One day, all of us will get  separated  from each other; we will miss our conversations of 
everything & nothing; the dreams that we had.

  Days will pass by, months, years, until this contact becomes rare... 
One day our children will see our pictures and ask 'Who are these people?'

And we will smile with invisible tears  because a heart is touched with a strong word and you will say:


  Thank you for making me smile for some time in my life.

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[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ POLITICAL CORRUPTION IN INDIA




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[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ HEALTH AND POWER

Just 1 Hour On This Bicycle Will 

Give Your House Enough Power For 24 Hours

With this great invention, it is now possible to exercise for an hour at home, and
 generate enough power to supply your house with electricity for a whole day! 

Just 1 Hour On This Bicycle Will Give Your House Enough Power For 24 Hours

The video below demonstrates how this bicycle actually works, and
 how it generates clean, eco-friendly electricity. The best thing is, the workout 
can be split among multiple people, allowing you to exercise with friends and
 family. Please SHARE; each share is an aware person!

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[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ Find Your Passion in Life

How to identify your passion in life
Virender Kapoor
"Passion Quotient (PQ) is the ferocity with which
you love to do something and you don't know why"
The rich and famous, the movers and shakers are not necessarily high school toppers. Nor do such successful people hold great college degrees. They are successful because they can generate enthusiasm at will, in themselves, in their colleagues and in the environment. These are the people who love their subordinates, admire their bosses and are prepared to learn from their peers. Such people love their work and can never get tired of what they do. This love sets them apart from unsuccessful people who take their work as drudgery.
Deep love for your work is called passion, which is the most important strength of human beings and sets apart great from the good ones. Therefore it is not the intelligent quotient (IQ), but your passion Quotient (PQ) that will take you to pinnacle of success. As field marshal Foch said "the most powerful weapon on earth is human soul on fire."
Start loving your job
In a booming economy, not only are there more number of job opportunities, but there are also more types of jobs available. About three decades ago, there were very limited job domains and one had very little professional choices available to choose from. However, today with the expansion of service sector and a push to the manufacturing sector it is possible for an individual to make a career in a field that he or she loves. For example media, internet, hospitality, travel leisure, knowledge management, retail, business process out sourcing, analytics, event management, E commerce were never even heard of as professional options a even a few years ago. Today, India is on a high and many young professionals are leaving the comfort zone of their jobs and venturing out into their own business on their way to becoming entrepreneurs choosing fields that they love.
Since so many opportunities are available, you can really pick up something that you like. If you love your job, let me assure you that you are on a permanent holiday. Indira Gandhi was asked "how do you work twenty hours a day without getting tired?" "Because I love my Job!" Was her answer. Similarly great designers, artists, painters, writers, actors and scientists excel in their work because they are madly in love with their work - they are passionate. If you love physics then don't push yourself to excel in poetry and if you love English literature, don't take engineering as your chosen profession. This way you are not only deceiving yourself but are also killing your own potential to do well in life. Either take up a job that you love, or better start loving the job that you take.
"Each Individual creature on this beautiful planet is created by God to fulfill a particular role" - Dr APJ Abdul Kalam
How does passion help you to do better in life?
  • * It is a source of tremendous energy
  • * Becomes your inner calling
  • Mother Teresa worked passionately for the poor because she 'felt' for the poor and the sick. Such people work selflessly and look for no financial rewards. Many young people leave their well-paid jobs to start a meaningful NGO. The bottom line is they want to do it.
  • * Makes you walk that extra mile
  • It lets you perform and deliver beyond your ordinary capacity. Since you love it, it comes naturally to you.
  • "Helps you identify your Goal Passion has been instilled in us by nature to remain 'on track'- like an inner compass. It gradually pushes you to be what you ought to be.
How to identify your passion?
If the following is true for an activity for you, then that activity is your passion.
  • It attracts you- A football player is always attracted to a football match. Artists are attracted to a paint brush and a taut canvas.
  • It is simple for you to learn- if you have potential to be a test cricket player, it will be very easy for you to follow the instructions of your coach. Great dancers like Madhuri Dixit and Hrithik Roshan can perform beyond the expectations of their choreographers.
  • It is effortless - Playing a violin for a passionate musician is effortless. Great speakers do it with grace and effortlessly.
  • It's a state of ecstasy - Amitabh Bachchan was asked by Karan Johar in a chat show about the secret of his intense performances. And he said 'When I am in front of the camera, something happens to me, and I just perform automatically.' This is a state of flow, total joy- ecstasy.
  • Jupiter not wanting mans' life to be wholly gloomy and grim has bestowed far more passion than reason. Moreover, he confined reason to a cramped corner of the head and left all the rest of the body to the Passions. -Desiderius Erasmus
Transforming hobbies and your passion into a rewarding profession
More than 50 percent of close to a million small businesses started in America in 1998 - 2000 were based on hobbies or personal interest of people. These guys actually made a living out of what they really loved. In addition to business, all those who make money through professions like sports, arts and creativity are also driven by passion alone. Don't chase money, money is a byproduct -it will come.

To translate your passion into a viable profession - where you can earn while having fun- you need to expand the scope of your passion. Let me explain this point.

First you should identify what you like or what is your drive. Let us say you feel acting is your driving force. Your first choice will be to become a film actor. But is it the only option? No, there are other options too. For instance, if you cannot get a break in films, you could look for a role on television.

Just imagine a drive or passion for acting can open up so many windows of opportunity. Adolf Hitler was a great orator; he used to rehearse for hours before delivering his political speeches, which became the reason for his political ascent.

"It is never been about money for me. Money is just a convenient way of keeping score" - Donald Trump

(Virender Kapoor is former director of a management institute under the Symbiosis umbrella and the founder of Management Institute for Leadership and Excellence. He is also the author of Leadership: The Gandhi Way, A Wonderful Boss: Great People to Work With and Passion Quotient-How it matters more than IQ and Innovation the Einstein Way.)

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[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ RE: :: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ Top 35 Life Lessons - From Mother to Daughter

I like it, very useful for me.


35 Lessons to Pass On 

To Your Daughter


1.  Don't give someone a "hammer" to hit you over the head with: -------  

I found many things are common in our family life. There is some tricks for our guide please be here what happened with me,,,,,21th century.  All parents having a dream about his child future one of them we are here. How what when while we have done so many things is past, could not correction at child hood life mistake. My daughter two sons are three of them.

XYZ in my co family friends who is with me here in abroad last 18 years, They have children all of them. X family from India his daughter & my daughter same 7th STD studying Abroad & India. X family daughter still does not go to school or Madarsa up to now. He told that he has some personal problem. Long time he invites me & I accept to attend to knew how his daughter happy there. After meet my daughter in minutes they are a good friend and to happy play each others. During dinner I saw his daughter arranging all things very sincerely as trained work. But during dinner we are all together start but accept his daughter. He is inside the room alone but X son seat with us. I told to friend please called to your daughter where is she? But I force & I found x daughter very interested to seat near with my daughter. But I noticed that x family are not at all interested to free his daughter one minutes to play with my daughter. Then I investigate that same place In India by another's 2/3 friend that story he replied & I surprised. He said x family places 90% family are uneducated because what is the benefit after school study all girls have to be work at last kitchen (money waist).This is true story when I have seen the KBC host by A.BACHAN Andhra Pradesh one lady school teacher is selected for this program. Big B all story focusing by reporter & to wards all question of his husband & Father in Law. ALL They Replied. That lady win 2500,000Rs by very easy question to get that.

Today I saw to my X friend some text of my daughter came last month after vacation then he request please share me this text to show my daughter to inspiration for her study. This week she will be start Arabic school study.

Please believed me in my  time  of study my mother language ( no English) & 1 to 10th  STD  I never seen 2nd roll no and I have two scholarship at 6th & 8th. And for my children never needed any advisor or extra tuition for home work and I never forced to study one day beating by me up to now they are more intelligent than me writing & reading.

Because my son is more good friend than his any others out door. When I question them they very quickly interested to reply me. Due to I have an always question is jokes & who will give the right answer he will get his choice dinner/food.

One Y family having four children for them education one Y family (father) used hot green chilly rubbing in the eye due to no good remind or good result in school. Where is I have found his mother & fathers was very bad student and no good result during education. So they should not hope a best result as no.1 position. Y family belongs to KERALA. It is happened in front of me.




Sunday, 29 November 2015

[ ::: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ RE: :: ♥Keep_Mailing♥ ::: ]™ Top 35 Life Lessons - From Mother to Daughter



From: [] On Behalf Of Junaid Tahir
Sent: 28 November 2015 19:03
To: undisclosed-recipients:
Subject: [ :::
Keep_Mailing ::: ]™ Top 35 Life Lessons - From Mother to Daughter




Below is a list of 35 of my favorite life lessons, and pieces of wisdom, that I've heard (and not always listened to but usually wish that I had) throughout my life.   This list of advice comes from a wide variety of sources: from my complete strangers who have an unusually great perspective on life.  I'm always thankful to find this advice handy in my memory, and I'd like it to be prevalent in my life.  Most of all, I want this advice to be accessible to my daughter as she gets old - and that is the reason that I created this post.


35 Lessons to Pass On 

To Your Daughter


1.  Don't give someone a "hammer" to hit you over the head with.  

This is a figure of speech.
 My grandfather told this to my mom while she was growing up - what it means is to be careful with what you do, say and share with people.  You don't want something that you have done, or said, to one day come back and bite you (or, rather, to come back as the "hammer" (so to speak) that hits you over the head later on down the road).  

2.  Before you speak, picture whatever it is that you are about to say on the chalkboard in front of your classroom with your name underneath it, or on Facebook.  

Do you still want to say it?

3.  Beware of the unintended consequences of gossiping.  

Before you indulge in gossiping about other people behind their back(s), beware of the impression that you may be giving off to the people who are listening to you.  Keep in mind that the person(s) that you are talking to may then start wondering 
what you say behind her own back and they may re-consider your potential loyalty as a friend.

4.  "You wouldn't care so much about what other people thought of you if you knew how little that they really did." 

Yes. Ok, fine! This piece of advice is quoted from Dr. Phil; and yes, I admit it - I used to enjoy watching "Dr. Phil".  Remember to tell yourself that you would not care what other people thought about you if you truly knew how little that they actually do think about you.  When you're worried about what other people think of you, tell yourself this:  "
Other people aren't paying as much attention to me as I am, so I shouldn't worry about every little thing I do."  Most of the time, people are thinking about themselves - not you.


5. Let go of what you can't change, and don't worry about things that you have no control over.

More importantly, learn how to identify what these things look like in your life (e.g., the weather, your test results, etc.), because putting your energy into something that you can't change or control is a waste of time, energy, and sleep; and it will drain you.

6.  You can never be happy with someone else until you are happy with yourself.

7.  Remember that not everyone is going to like you, and that some people are just mean for no apparent reason.  

Some people get their "psychological jollies" out of making you feel sad and down because then it makes them feel better about themselves. Don't lose sleep over getting "in" with the "cool" crowd.  Exude confidence (not arrogance); remember that you teach people how to treat you; and then, friends will follow from there.

8.  Be kind to other people.

You have no idea what those next to you may be going through in their own lives.  "Don't judge a man until you've walked two moons in his shoes" (this is a quote from a book that I read in 4th grade called "Walk Two Moons"); this means that you cannot judge a man until you've 'walked' at least 2-days (or, rather, "2-moons") in 'his shoes.'  (Walk Two Moons is a great book to read with your child to encourage empathy).

9.  Do not cry at work

Crying is perfectly fine, but try not to cry at work (easier said, than done).  If you do cry, DO NOT make a scene.

10.  Remember that there's always someone out there who has it worse than you do.

Any time there is a situation where you don't get your way, remember that there are people in this world that never even had the opportunity.
Remember that there's always someone out there who has it worse than you do.

11.  When you're wrong, apologize.  

Apologizing does not always mean that you were wrong and the other person was right. Sometimes it just means that you value the relationship more than your ego. 

12.  Here are the steps to a real apology:

  • Fully acknowledge the offense - acknowledge what you are sorry about.
  • Offer a truthful explanation as to why your behavior occurred   Do not offer an excuse - excuses merely deflect blame.
  • Offer a genuine expression of remorse. Do NOT say, "I'm sorry that you feel that way...." - that is a bogus apology that should be saved only for people who deserve it.
  • Ask what you can do to make things better, and then listen to what they say, and make sure that they know that you are listening.

(These steps were inspired by Oprah's article on The Right Way to Apologize).
13.  To be 'wise' means that you are able to admit when you don't know the answer.  

My dad taught me this:  don't pretend to know the answer to something if you don't.  Saying, "I don't know," is far better than pretending and potentially having people notice that you are - trust me, this will make you look like a much bigger idiot than simply not knowing the answer.  If you don't know the answer, but still want to contribute to the conversation, then you can say, "Well, if I had to make an educated guess, it would be....".

14.  If you need help, then you need to ask for it.

I learned this lesson the hard way at my first job out of college.  

15.  Never be friend to a person who is rude to waiters, or mean to animals.

16.  Learn how to laugh at yourself.  

You're going to look like an ass at some (actually, many) point(s) in your life.  You will look like less of an ass if you're able to laugh at yourself about whatever it is that you did.

17.  Remember that there is always something to be thankful for.

18.  Never try to solve problems at night.  

All problems seem worse at night, and everything seems like a bigger deal when you are tired.  Go to sleep.  The problem will probably not be as big of a deal in the morning.   (If you're tired and you've been drinking, you're probably wrong anyway about whatever it is that you're saying/arguing about - so again, just go to sleep, and deal with it in the morning!).  

19.  When you have a crisis and feel like your life is over, remember this advice that my grandfather used to say to my mom:

  • 1 month from now, you won't be hurting as badly.  
  • 6-months from now, you probably won't even be thinking about it.  
  • 5-years from now, you might not even remember it.

20. What we see depends mainly on what we look for. So focus on where you want to be - not on where you don't want to go.

My first time snowboarding was a nightmare - I skipped the "Bunny Hill" and arrogantly decided to start my first snow-boarding experience at the top of Vail mountain (a terrible idea for a first-time snow-boarder), and despite my extreme fear of running into a tree as I went down the Blue Diamond ski slope, I still found myself, time and time again, tangled up in the trees on the side of the mountain, struggling to get out of the white powder and back on the smoother snow trail.   Then, a wise man in a blue snow-suit gave me wonderful words of advice, "Keep your eyes focused on where you want to go (which was the chair lift) – and not on where you don't want to go (which was the trees at the side of the mountain). Before he pointed this out to me, I had been so focused on not running into the trees on the side of the mountain that my eyes were literally focused on that stupid forest.  So then, I took his advice, and I changed my focus and kept my eyes on the chair-lift at the bottom of the mountain.  And guess what?   It worked.  This new mentality magically re-programmed my body and brought me to the chairlift (with no stops at the stupid trees).  Don't get me wrong: I still fell on my butt a lot on my way to the chairlift, but that was way better than ending up wrapped around the trunk of a pine tree under a pile of snow!  I think this advice is a great analogy that can cross-over to our real, everyday life.  Keep your focus on where you want to be - not your fears.



21.  Never try to figure to out how you should solve a problem; focus on what you want the end result to be and then make decisions that you will help you get there.  (Thank you, Dad.)

22.  If you can't sleep, fake it.  

This advice was given to me by my daughter's pediatrician (a woman that I never thought I would be quoting) the day that my daughter was born.  Her pediatrician was emphasizing to me the importance of sleep for moms with a newborn.   The reason she said this is because I had just expressed to her that I didn't know if I could follow the advice that I had been given to "sleep when the baby sleeps" (which is, by the way, the most annoying advice EVER because 100+ people told me this after my baby was born).  I didn't understand how I would ever be able to change my sleep schedule, let alone be able to sleep sporadically throughout the middle of the day (as newborns nap every 2 hours).  But guess what? This advice is great (at least for me).  Even if you can't fall asleep, "faking it" is the next best thing because resting has adds a considerable amount of value to the recharging of your mind and body too.  The dishes can wait.

23.  If you're having trouble solving a problem after repeated attempts, then try a different approach. 

According to some references, the definition of "insanity" is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."  Try going about it in a different way.


24.  If you don't have time to do it right the first time, then when are you going to have time to do it over?  

Don't rush through an important task.  Don't "half-ass" it.   If it's difficult to do now, then it's going to be even more annoying to go back and fix later.

25.  Surround yourself with people who build you up.

Surround yourself with people who see greatness within you, even when you don't see it yourself.

26.  If you're ever having trouble making conversation with other people, ask them about themselves.  

People like talking about themselves (and/or their kids).

27.  Only eat french fries that are hot and crispy and fresh. 

My dad (who is kind of a health nut) instilled this idea in me growing up; I'm not a health nut, but I appreciate the logic behind this - if you're going to eat something that's bad for you, then do it right and make sure it tastes good!  When you place your order, give the server a big smile and ask if you can wait for a fresh batch of french fries.  If I'm going to get fatter from something - it better taste good.

28.  The best time to relax is when you don't have time for it.

29.  Always bring chap-stick and a bottle of water to a job interview.  

Nothing is worse than a dry mouth and/or chapped lips when you're trying to talk someone into hiring you.

30.  The Middle School (aka, Junior High) and High School phases suck for most girls.  Remember that Middle School and High School are just short phases of your life.

The Middle School and High School crowd can be just plain mean.  The social torture that many of us experience during our awkward Middle School and High School phases seems like a very cruel "right of passage" before we enter the best part of the rest of our lives - young adulthood.   The "college phase" is so much better - if not the best.

31.  Writing down your worries on paper before a big exam or a big presentation at work can help you relieve anxiety and help you perform better.

32.  Never reply when you are angry.  Never make a promise when you are happy.  Never make a decision when you are sad.

33.  If you don't want anyone to find out, don't do it.

34.  Happiness is a choice - a choice to live your life with a certain state of mind.  

Happiness usually doesn't just come to you - at least not after childhood ends.  You often have to fight for happiness.  Remember that you are in charge of how you feel.  Think happy.  Be happy. 

  • "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." Mahatma Gandhi
  • "It is only possible to live happily ever after on a daily basis." Margaret Bonanno
  • "Mistakes will be made. Failure will occur. You pick yourself up and carry on."  - Elizabeth Gilbert.

35.  Follow your passion for your career.


To my daughter: My wish for you is that you follow what you are passionate about, because that is what you will be good at.


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